Club Med Hammamet, Hammamet

Let's start with the "very good". We'd never been on a Club Med holiday before so weren't really sure what to expect: We got: to fly from the airport we chose (very imporant if you don't happen to live within easy reach of London); then six full days (out of seven) of childcare (separated into under 2s (we've got two of them) and under 4s (one of them) as well as 4-10s (none as yet!)); excellent food, including stuff the children would eat, in a choice of two restaurants (one at lunchtime only) both with ample highchairs; wine or beer (or both!) with every meal; free bar (except cocktails and champagne and that sort of thing); fantastic swimming pools (including one 80cm deep and one a mere 40cm, so perfect for toddlers to, well, toddle around in (they still insisted on wearing armbands of course, but then that's toddlers for you!); flat sandy beach; warm blue sea; glorious sunshine; our own bungalow with terrace, two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a living room, supplied with travel cots, changing mats, non-slip bath mats, a potty; our sheets and towels changed every day (sorry environment) and the room left spotless; and even milk, yoghurts and fruit pots available throughout the day for those low blood sugar moments, all for what I thought was an incredibly reasonable price. Sounds perfect, doesn't it? Well it was, apart from the niggles. Some of it, I'm sure was to do with it being Tunisia (no car seats provided for the transfers until I got really stroppy, and even then, they were only secured by lap belts), but the majority, I think was because Club Med is a French company, and the French do, I think, bring up their children differently. The first problem was the language barrier. Not for us, as we both happen to speak French, but I hadn't realised how much of a problem it would be for the children, particularly our 3 year old. She really wasn't happy in the childcare where there were no English-speaking carers at all. In fact there were only two people in the childcare as a whole who spoke good English (one French, one British) and they were looking after the under 1s and the over 4s respectively. I'm sure she missed out on things because she couldn't understand and couldn't make herself understood. We ended up taking her out of the childcare early on most days (although to be fair we'd never intended to leave them in for full days anyway), and completely towards the end of the week. Another British parent complained that her potty trained two year old kept having accidents in the childcare because the carers didn't understand her when she said she needed the loo... The other big issue was that of timing, particularly the evening meal. Our children, I think like most Brits of a similar age, have their evening meal at 5 and are in bed by 7. That simply wasn't possible. There was a (very unappetising) children's meal served at 6.30 or the main (delicious) restaurant opened for dinner at 7.30, both well beyond what they are used to. We ended up juggling their routine around to make it work differently on different days (including two sleeps during the day, or bathtime before supper), but it wasn't ideal - although to be fair I'm not sure how you'd make it so. There were also little irritations about having to do things in a certain very bureaucratic way (dinner in the beach restaurant had to be reserved but could only be booked after six pm on a Thursday!) that I think if you were used to Club Med you would not think anything of, but for the first time added, rather than taking away from stress levels. There was also a major shortage of babysitters (five for the whole resort) apparently because they are very badly paid (about £6 an hour, of which they receive less than £2 themselves), so they got booked up by people who knew (i.e not us!) that you needed to book them at the beginning of the week. Again, one we would know for next time. Club Med is also, don't forget, a club and there are odd little ClubMeddy things (the dance, the song, knowing when you do and don't dress for dinner) that if you've been going all your life you're ready for, and if you haven't, you just find all a bit odd... We would go back because the good definitely convincingly outweighed the bad, but next time we'll be forewarned.